The Five(ish) Doctors: The Sitcom
Just as Twitter/X was on the turn, I came up with the idea of doing a sort of parody account which would tweet plotlines for a Doctor Who sitcom inspired by Peter Davison’s fabulous Five(ish) Doctors. The general idea was a Curb Your Enthusiasm-style show featuring Pete, Colin and Sylvester as fictionalised versions of themselves, getting into various awkward situations on the convention circuit and the wider entertainment industry. I still think this has legs by the way, and if Peter Davison or Russell T Davies are reading this then do please get in touch in the comments below.
Because the act of logging into X is now an innately political one, I decided to put my favourite Five(ish) Doctors episodes up here. Think of this as season one:
The Group Chat
Pete, Colin, and Sylvester are furious to learn that they've not been invited into David Tennant’s Doctor Who group chat so try to start their own. Tom won't answer their messages.
The Influencer
Pete, Colin, and Sylvester learn how much Ncuti Gatwa can make from a sponsored Instagram post, and each try to be brand ambassadors. Pete vies with Frazer Hines to promote cricket gear, while Colin and Sylvester clash over Crocs.
The Car Park
Amid a cost-cutting drive at Big Finish, Pete, Colin, and Sylvester each grow suspicious of their experiences with Jon Culshaw's erratic driving in the Big Finish car park.
The Sickie
Pete feigns illness to avoid going on holiday with Steven Moffat but has to deal with the public fallout when David grasses him up.
The Winnebago
On the set of his new movie, Sylvester becomes concerned when he discovers that the guy who empties his chemical toilet is a Doctor Who fan.
The Diet Pill
A mishap while shopping online forces Colin to rope Pete and Sylvester into a pyramid scheme involving diet pills.
The Lunches
Pete, Colin, and Sylvester try to instigate industrial action when Big Finish changes their catering supplier. Can they get Tom and David on board?
The Photo-Op
A convention photograph of a grumpy Pete goes viral, putting a big TV gig at risk. Can David Tennant help? Colin’s wife moderates a heated “sit down” to negotiate a minimum pricing agreement for Colin and Sylvester’s Cameo pages.
The Face Scrawler
Pete befriends an actor who insists on signing their name over David Tennant’s face. A dispute about car parking guarantees Colin the worst signing table at a convention. Sylvester’s convention handler has a phobia of spoons.
The Holiday
Things go from bad to worse when Pete convinces his family that Doctor Who’s Disney+ deal entitles him to free entry to Disneyland Paris
